I liked Nathanael. A lot. And like a good fundy girl who hopes to marry a man, I was close with his family. His sisters in particular, but I was in good standing with his parents, too. Which is actually nearly unheard of with his dad. His dad doesn’t like ANYBODY that he doesn’t think is good enough.
But yeah. His dad commonly said both from the pulpit and to anyone who would listen really that he didn’t like loud girls. That they weren’t exhibiting a meek and quiet spirit. This was often aimed at one of his daughters in particular and her best friend. I always felt so bad for them.
BUT there was one time we were all at a conference together. I had come into the main auditorium during free time with a book to read, my journal to write in, and a few piano books should the urge to play come over me. He came over to talk to me, and as he was leaving he lovingly patted me on the shoulder and said, “I know you’re a quiet, contemplative type. I really like that.”
At the time, I was pleased. That meant that surely he would approve if Nathanael liked me back.
Now? I’m kind of fucking pissed. I’m not quiet because it’s some secret virtue that I believe in because I have a vagina. I’m quiet because I’m an introvert, and I don’t talk unless I’m scared/nervous, or actually have something to say.